Terminal Velocity - Day 1

It was eight days after I lost my left leg when I got the call.
The dais remained blank as a voice said my name “Jake”.
In my line of work being found has its serious disadvantages – namely ending up dead. No one should have known I was here - it would be the last place anybody would have expected me to be, vacationing on New Happy; the most expensive (and tackiest) planet in the galaxy. As close as you could get to the hub without disappearing over the event horizon, a sky strewn with stars guaranteeing 24 hour tanning, and enough dark places to satisfy all but the wildest imagination. Come to think of it – this is probably the first place they would think of!
“Hello” I replied, wary but intrigued. Really, I should have been out of there as any second the room could have exploded, or perhaps just my head as an orbital laser vaporised my brain. But I have always been curious, something that got me out of a dead end job attaching arms and legs to bodies into the much more interesting and varied field of detaching them.
“Hello” the voice was non-descript no emotions or clues but still human, not synthetic. This was beginning to get annoying; my patience was already tested by my continually forgetting that my left leg was now only six inches long. This involved a lot of falling over.
“Who the Bob is that?”
“Harry” Ah, it was beginning to make sense now. Harry had been slipped a virus by one of his competitors, he was doing me a favour keeping the dais blank.
“Harry, how are you?” At least now I knew that he wasn’t trying to kill me, probably.
“How do you think? I’ve got a job for you”
“What?” Snappy dialogue, but that’s not what I get paid for.
“Easy, shouldn’t take you long” Which meant it would be difficult and dirty and I would have a hard time keeping hold of appendages.
“How much?”
“The usual”
“Hmmph” Does anybody like that answer?
“Looks like you’re in need of the money.”
Should have turned the cam off. “Maybe” I swung my chair round to look out of the window at what I had been assured was a picturesque view; a drab building dotted with balconies overlooking my hotel – no doubt scenic in itself. This was one of the cheapest hotel rooms on this world (well as cheap as I was willing to go), you could get four floors for the same price on another planet. My money was going fast as I’d had to double my food intake to grow a new leg, but the jobs that Harry offered were always the worst.
“Jake?”
“Send it around”
“This one is important Jake.”
“When isn’t it? Just send it round”
“Already on its way”
The door gave a polite cough “Package for you Mr Tyrson”
I eased myself out of my chair and hopped over to the door. My watch wasn’t beeping so I took the package from the parcel bot ignoring the tip pad that it waved at me and slammed the door in its face. Then hopped back to my chair, I thumbed the seal and began reading.
“Jake?”
“Yeah?” Not really paying attention as I tried to figure out what Harrys angle was.
“You’ll be leaving Wednesday.”
“What! Listen my legs only a third grown”
“Speed it up then, I’ll pay the bill” Wow, this must be important if Harry was willing to pay expenses, perhaps he’d never been to New Happy. I scanned through the data trying to find a clue. Ah, there it was! I grinned an evil grin and sat back in my chair. Harry was about to pay big time.
“Harry?”
“Jake?”
“Ten million”
“What!” His voice spluttered “You must be joking. You people are ten a penny, you’re my first choice Jake but you’re not the last.”
“Now Harry, don’t get uptight”, I was enjoying this “ you know that most of them are on their way to the new galaxy” They were as well, jobs in my line of work were getting scarcer (yeah thanks Bob), the great unknown was one of the few remaining options for ‘ahem’ adventurers; one that I wasn’t yet ready for.
“Six”
“Nine”
“Seven”
“Eight”
“Done, cash on delivery though”
“When wasn’t it?” That was too easy, you had more chance of getting a falo out of a sned than a credit out of ‘Honest’ Harry the Shipbroker.
“Call me when you’ve got it”
“Don’t cross me Harry, remember Berrand”“
As if I would Jake, as if I would”
I broke the connection and leaned back thinking about the last time I had done a job for him. Berrand was a bad situation and a planetbuster does what it says on the box. However, business is business and I would use the piece makers again.
Harry’s file had a credit number on the front, I verified it with the hotel then hopped into the bedroom to get my briefcase, punched in the 49 digit code and pulled out a book. Finding the right page I popped out a couple of tablets, swallowed them, and then called up a menu from room service.
As the first course of my meal arrived, I hopped out onto the balcony and lowered myself into one of the chairs. Leaning back I tuned the screen to cut out some of the glare and put some music on. Having one leg was inconvenient and most humans would have just got a new one, but I had a growth unit, and it would just get confused. But then most humans didn’t find themselves on out of the way planets hunting wild and dangerous things (or being hunted by them), without a handy local body shop to stock up at. I’d lost too many body parts to be reliant on outside sources, now if a bit fell off it would just grow back. Of course I could speed up the process by supplying more of the raw materials but this meant long and elaborate meals and eating for eight hours non-stop is not my favourite occupation.
The trolleys kept coming, bringing plate after plate, and as Harry was paying I didn’t just limit my choice to the cheapest. Instead I tried all the delicacies on the menu; still there’s only so much freet haunch with mango and srailly sho couscous or golden caviar and mushy trag you can eat. Alcohol helped alleviate it slightly but I was glad when my leg was finished and the growth unit cut out. I felt nauseous from overeating and ran (a curious feeling) to the bathroom and threw up.
Feeling better I drank several litres of water (charged by the glass), and billed everything to Harry's account.
Then I went to bed.